Baby Steps

Well, that Marine of mine hasn't said anything different, but things feel different. A little bit. 

I couldn't spend the day with him yesterday, but I had to just work hard to keep anxiety down where I could handle it.  And we got a date night yesterday, so it helped to have that to look forward to.  There was one spot where there was a small amount of anxiety, but I managed. :)

Our date night was nothing special.... he had a club meeting and asked me to join him.  Plus a stop at Lowe's and dinner to go at Carl's Jr.  But it was SO nice...... it was so nice for me to see him relaxed and happy and joking with his friends.  I made a point to tell him how glad I was that he asked me to join him.  I am not really interested in his club much, but if he has that much fun each time, I am so happy to join him. And I told him we need to have more fun times like that..... he said someday.  After the house is done.   Always the house these days.  I have heard everywhere that these kind of house projects are really hard on marriages. So what to we do but get married and start on the house within days of each other. 

I have been getting better about going to the gym every day.  I managed 40 minutes on the elliptical yesterday.  I guess I will soon have to go for another fill so that what I am eating matches my work at the gym.  

In 22 days, I get on a plane to go back east and visit my husband's kids, and my brother's family.  I will have to see the ex-wife and be sweet as can be to her.  So by hell, in 22 days, I want to look amazing. Well, as amazing as one can look when overweight. 

I can't spend the day with my husband today either -- kids are out of school early, have parent-teacher meetings, and work meetings.  So, on to day two of getting this damn anxiety under control.  While it all is starting to feel a little better, I can't decide if his worries are passing, or if we are just living in denial while he sorts it out.