Thanks for the hugs!

All of these hugs are precious... I sure needed them.  It has been a long weekend, parts hellish, parts hopeful.  Three of my four kids spent the weekend with their dad, and the teenager isn't around much anyway.  So, me and the husband got to spend a lot of time together. We haven't really talked a lot just yet, beyond the initial conversation.  We just worked on our house together and tried to enjoy each other's company. 

One of the few things he was able to tell me is that married life isn't like when we were dating.... our lives are 100% different now.  And he is right.  Some of that is necessary, because we are parents now.  He was single for 12 years, so big changes for him.  And all of his time is eaten up with this house thing, so it has been a challenge.  I wish he could see it is all about balance... it would make such a difference.

 I do have to give him credit..... he has been there for me when I was hurting (he come and asked me to come back to bed the other night just as I hit the send button, tears and all.)  And, he has been trying really, really hard in every other way.  And I have been too. 

I have never been afraid of being alone until I had him.  And in many ways, I think my kids would be more heartbroken if this marriage broke up than when me and their dad divorced.  I don't know if he will do counseling yet.  But I do have reinforcements coming, if you can call it that.  Our post commander is going to help get him out of the house with the guys a little bit (for service projects) and see if it will help him just to get away and chill out once in a while.  And I am going to put a higher priority on helping him at the house... it is the only time we can just be US, not mom & dad. 

On a side note, I go to the big city today for a fill.  With all of this stress, I have noticed being a little tighter, but I am still eating too much.  And on the flip side.... usually with stress, I chow on the junk food.  But this has been such an over-the-top stress, that I haven't really wanted to eat much. So any way, I think the sugar binging is more under control, so it is a good time for a fill. I will just ask the nurse to only put in the tiniest amount so I dont end up puking again.  

Ugh...... my SIL just dropped by unannounced,  and I am still in my bed in my jammies!!! Guess I need to throw some clothes on and at least say hello.  

Thanks again for the hugs...... I needed them!  And A. ...... girls' weekend is definitely needed!!!!