My thoughts on the death of Elizabeth Edwards

"A lot of people have great hope, and a lot of people who have great hope live. And, some of them who have great hope die. So it's not that hope is going to save you. A positive attitude is not going to save you. What it's going to do is, everyday, between now and the day you die, whether that's a short time from now or a long time from now, that every day, you're going to actually live." 

This is a quote from Elizabeth Edwards, who died today.   I admire her so much.  In the face of cancer, and in the face of everything her husband put her through..... she handled all of it with dignity and grace.  If she had an inner bitch in her, she didn't let the world see it.  That is such a rarity these days.  

It is funny... I was thinking of her and her illness this morning, and how she must be feeling as a mother of young children...maybe hoping at least for one last Christmas. I was thinking about the holidays, and my friend Jeff, who was fighting cancer at this time last year. Jeff, a single father of four boys, died the day after Christmas last year. 

These things combined make me think of my sweet husband.  I married a man who is older than me ... I am 38, he is 50.  His father died in his 40s of heart problems.  My husband seems to be quite healthy, and I am glad for that. But the reality is..... who ever knows how much time we have with one another?  My neighbor, who is in her 60s, said she feels like she should have a good 5-7 years of enjoying her husband post-retirement.  Which made me think....... what if........

What if I only have 5-7 years with this sweet husband of mine? 

Yes, I have 20 years of baggage that has been causing issues for me. But in the ONE year I have been with my husband, he has tried harder than my ex tried in 20. 

I need to set my issues aside and cherish this man for all the days that I have him. 

Him, my children, my family.... I am surrounded by amazing people.