What the HELL is wrong with me!?

Oh. My. Freakin. HELL.  

Every little thing is making me crazy these days.  Like looney bins crazy.

Sunday night, I was so tired.  When I am tired, my brain is checked out.  Do not ask me to do or think anything that is more complicated than "do you want to go to bed?"

I was in the middle of mindlessly putting away my CDs, making sure all the CD inserts were in the CD book, etc. Husband interrupts my trance-like state to ask if Windows had a free download that would make all the issues on his computer go away.  I say "yes, let me help you in a few... brain can not switch gears in this moment."  Not good enough......He wants help RIGHT NOW. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't mean about it... just keeps asking me questions that I cant answer off the top of my head. You know... like what I AM DOING IS NOT IMPORTANT. 

Stress. 

I spent all day Monday working on his computer. I am not a computer geek, but I can fake it when I need to.  And I got his computer running SO much better than it was. Before all things, he is a man.  SO no, he didn't go try it out to see how it was working.  Or even say thank you.  It just wasn't good enough because the screen saver wasn't moving as fast as he thought it should. So -- I was sulking. And if that wasn't enough -- I burned the garlic bread.  I didn't just burn the garlic bread, I started the damn thing on fire. And set off the smoke alarm.  And then I sat down on the stairs and cried like a baby. 

STRESS.

Last night -- I was so excited that he came home early, but he went right out to the garage. His sister offered to stay with kids so we could have a date night. Just the two of us.  But.... he had things to do. And then -- he is so wrapped up in this house he is working on, I feel as if who I am and what I do has become non-existent.  No tears last night... but I did go to bed early.  I just wanted to be ALONE. I was single for five years. I am not afraid of being alone. I would rather be alone than invisible. 

I didn't cry..... but did I mention that I ATE EVERYTHING IN SIGHT?  ALL DAMN DAY. 

I started off so good -- with 40 minutes at the gym and a protein shake for breakfast.  But then......

A piece of lemon meringue pie. A whole wheat roll with turkey and avocado. Several pieces of chocolate. Another piece of pie.  Chips. More chocolate. More chocolate. Another roll-turkey-avocado. Another piece of pie. (Damn, it is good stuff, I am telling you!)  Cheese and crackers before bed. I am telling you -- I was out of control.  

If I was to guess, I would predict that one of these days soon, I will go to the gym and find five pounds have appeared from out of hormonal nowhere. And them I will say -- aha! I haven't been just a bitch... I have been a PMS bitch. 

My poor husband.  In his defense, can I just tell you that when I was sitting on the step bawling my eyes out over garlic bread, that sweet man ran to the grocery store and bought more bread.  Not only that.... he also ran to the liquor store and bought me a bottle of my favorite whine wine.  All before the spaghetti got cold. 

I love him SO much -- I am just not so good at being a newlywed. 

But I AM really good at eating pie.